My Twin Brother Miguel's Accident

Hi, I'm Chris Morris, and the last time I looked in the mirror, it apologised for being a mere reflection of the greatness that I personify.

As some of you may know, I am currently volunteering at Woodlands Primary School in Carnoustie, running a percussion club. The unfortunate thing about working a with a vast amount of people is that now and then, some of these people are likely to discover you working in a less glamorous role. Some of the kids at Woodlands have discovered someone who looks like Chris Morris working in a cinema. So I had to think fast.

I told the kids that I don't work in any such place and that this is in fact my twin brother, Miguel from France. He lives in the Eiffel Tower, and flys off to Dundee in his private jet every once in a while to work in the cinema. You can tell the difference between Miguel and myself because he has a beard and I don't (I had a little stubble when the pupils recognised me outside of school!).

But for some reason, these kids don't believe me. They think that Miguel is completely made up, and asked me to prove that he exists. So, last week I confidently boasted that my brother and myself would be at the school the next week. No excuses.

Damn... What am I gonna do?

Not to worry. I have a plan.

Check this out:

Oh no! The Eiffel Tower has been so cleverly and masterfully photoshopped, that it appears to have been involved in an accidental demolition project, and is falling over.

Not to worry though, the Eiffel Tower was closed to tourists today, because Miguel fancied having his home to himself for a change. It's awful stressful when your house is one of the busiest tourist attractions in the world, after all.

But wait! Who is that expertly drawn 2D image of a man falling from the tower?? Could it be Miguel??

Of course it is, or at least that's what the kids will be told, and of course, they will believe me 100%.

And just in case they don't believe me, I have even more evidence. An incredible photographer for the local Paris newspaper just happened to be flying past the Eiffel Tower right at the moment that it collapsed, and managed to take the following picture:

Now, don't worry Chris Morris fans, I'm okay, and I didn't hurt myself in making this picture. It's simply professionally photoshopped from the comfort of my own home. I know it looks real, it's just because I'm a perfectionist, and am incredibly able to make you believe in the impossible.

Now, just in case the kids think that this isn't Miguel in this picture, and it is in fact me, you'll notice that I've cleverly added a realistic beard to the photo of myself. Also, Miguel's name badge from his work has flown away from him revealing his favourite film to be... Oh, don't ask me, I don't speak French, but as any Chris Morris fan knows, my favourite film is The Lord of The Rings, so it can't be me.

So this evidence will be presented to the young ones the next time I'm at the school. Don't worry about Miguel, he landed in a nearby pillow factory, which was lucky, but he's far too shaken up and busy with rebuilding his home, that he won't make it in to Woodland's Primary School this week. Hey, maybe next week?